How to write Show, don't Tell scenes - Recount
BEFORE: I always wanted to fly but the first time I went hang gliding was terrifying.
COMMENT: You need a 'Show' scene here to really convince readers.
AFTER: I always wanted to fly, to drift effortlessly through the air like a bird. Smooth, silent, feeling the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. Now, as the hang gliding instructor clamped the helmet on my head, silence was the last thing I felt. My heart was pounding so hard it was choking me. There was a rushing in my ears and I was talking loud, too loud. It took all my strength not to break and run from the edge of the cliff.